It teaches you that your self-worth does not come from being loved by another person. Being loved by another person is a beautiful, precious, and amazing feeling. But it does not validate your existence or give your life meaning.
Breaking up with someone, though it will be extremely difficult, will also show you that with or without them, you still contribute to the world, you still have people in your life that love you, you still need to get out of bed in the morning. But either way, they will only contribute to your happiness and help you on your path to fulfillment. Whether your heartbreak leads to tap dancing or improv classes or a dodgeball league, it will only help to remind you that there are so many things you can do with your time besides sulking in bed.
Granted, you may need to give yourself some sulking time in the beginning. You develop a much deeper sense of empathy for others. But with every inch, slow as it may be, you really will get stronger.Why Breakups Are Hard To Get Over
Clothes, social media, job rankings, social status. This breakup will open your eyes up in a way you could have never imagined. You learn how to cook for one. Sounds depressing, but having a large amount of leftovers in your fridge is a game chager, in the best way possible. You eventually learn that an entire world exists outside of the one in your own head.
What Happens When You Break Up On Good Terms
A harsh — but good — lesson to go through. Soon that becomes the most important, and often only, way to label yourself. Constantly growing. Consistently shaping yourself. You can be in a relationship, a very important one. But it does not make up who you are. It teaches you that you can actually put up with a lot more than you originally thought. You appreciate the light moments so much more. Because you need it more. You find the friends who you can truly count on during difficult times.
You find yourself making deeper connections with other people. You often work a lot harder if you eventually enter into a new relationship, and it pays off. You remember what went wrong the first time — if you were too closed off, or too lazy, or you were unwilling to compromise, or you were searching for the wrong type of person. I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay. I promise. And if you ever need anyone to talk to about breakups, dear reader, please shoot me an email.
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You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.Breakups never feel good. No matter how long you guys dated, who was in the wrong or how healthy the break may be, every time a relationship ends we tend to question if it was the right decision or not. As a result, we question severing ties and leaving toxic relationships.
Rarely does one handle rejection light-heartedly. But what if I told you that, no matter what, every breakup is a positive?
That besides the agony of heartbreak, anyone who leaves your life, regardless of the circumstances, is doing you a favor. Instead, you should be handling your lack of self-discipline. Why not use breakups as a chance to self-reflect.
If we never think to address the areas of improvement that we all inevitably have, how can we expect to keep a woman or even handle her leaving? As in, not a single bit of it was on us. We deserve our efforts and heart reciprocated; especially in matters as intimate and sensitive as love interests. A lot of time our heart makes it hard to let people go, but we must understand our energy deserves to be used properly, not poorly. And investing in someone who does not appreciate you is a waste of energy none of us can afford.
Breakups are always a good thing because it means there is room for someone new, better and more compatible in our lives. We get bent out of shape when someone leaves our lives because, for that moment at least, it feels like they were the best we had.
Although your usual has never steered you wrong, until now, you never got the chance to see how it was not even close to being the best option on the menu. You have to remain confident in yourself when someone lets you go and you must love yourself enough let someone go.
So we must understand that there are people, places and things that come and go with it. There will always be pain when you lose an investment of the heart, but if we choose to learn from that pain and see the loss as an opportunity to become better, you will see how breakups are not as bad as you envisioned.
Stop torturing yourself with that horrid breakup playlist and give your liver a break from the whiskey on Tuesday mornings.A breakup is a separation of a strong bond a couple once shared. When two people stop sharing lives together they had previously invested in, they create a rift so powerful, it causes turbulence in the space and time. It causes a distortion of reality followed by the post-breakup blues—which is emotionally equivalent to the loss of a family member.
Often our self-esteem and confidence take a hit as a result of a breakup and we become less productive. The first breakup is often the hardest because we are convinced this person was meant to last forever. How much one hurts depends mainly on their attachment style which dates back into their childhood. That can be weeks or even months before the demise of the companionship. Another thing that can occur is when a person falls out of love and gradually detaches from the partner one string at a time.
It does not happen overnight and normally takes at least a couple of weeks. What can contribute to the process of the relationship falling apart is finding a more suitable partner, losing a family member, pulling away and distracting yourself. Many of these occurrences appear on a subconscious level without us having to ruminate about it.
Some of the things we contemplate about during our first breakup are:. The more you pull it apart, the more it hurts and the more detached we become. Eventually, the string breaks and we feel a renewed sense of freedom and repossession of our old identity which we most likely lost somewhere along the ride. In either case, we subconsciously or deliberately conform and work towards common goals.
Every failed relationship can teach us a lot about ourselves and our partner. Identity is what defines and differentiates us as human beings. Because we spend a lot of time with our partner we often begin to neglect our own personal ambitions, all because we became so focused on our partner.
After you have recovered from the heartache you finally discover the truth to happiness. That is that only you can make yourself happy and not your partner. More often than not after the breakup, we indulge in new activities and make new friends as a result. We no longer feel trapped in our compartments and break free of the chains that have inadvertently been holding us back.
In this way, codependency begins to form and sooner than later breaks the relationship.Man, breakups are the worst. But after the heartache fades, along with all of those memories of your ex, you will be able to see the good in goodbye. Is it an easy place to get to? It takes a lot of work, along with appropriate grieving of the relationship.
Whether or not the relationship was a happy or unhappy one — it ended for a reason. It was broken.
This fear can halt you in more ways than you realize. After a breakup, you faced that fear head on. It is scary as shit, but once you make it to the other side, you become fearless. Instead of me, myself and I, it was probably more like, your partner, your partner, your partner. Now that this partnership is over, you have all the time in the world to focus on the most important relationship in your life — the one you have with yourself.
Before, maybe something would bother you about your partner, or his or her actions, and it would leave an icky taste in your mouth and your day. Some people are too afraid to put themselves out there and truly be vulnerable. That is not you. You loved to the max and you wore your heart out on your sleeve. That is commendable. You know you are capable of love, which means you are capable of giving and receiving love in the future. Through rough times and change, one thing is inevitable — growth.
This growth comes in many ways, especially in knowledge. You know now what you want for yourself and your future. You learned a lot about yourself through this relationship and through the downfall of it.
3 Reasons Why Those Brutal Breakups Are Always A Good Thing
You now have a more refined list of deal-breakers and a better understanding of what you need vs. Your future looks bright, my dear.Sometimes, despite having all the love in the world for each other, you can still find yourself on shaky ground with your partner. Disagreements abound, the trust isn't there, and you find yourself preventing the end at every turn.
But did you ever consider that a breakup might be just what your relationship needs? I know, the thought of parting ways with your SO even if it's just temporarily can be downright scary. And yet, there's a pretty long list of times when it could be the best idea ever. Of course it's by no means guaranteed to work. A true breakup like, the kind where you fight and leave and that's that is really hard to come back from.
As Opperman says, " But if you sit down with your partner and discuss taking a break, it could truly mean bringing your relationship back from the brink. Sound plausible? Then read on for some of the times when this breakup idea really could be the best thing for your relationship. They say distance makes the heart grow fonderand that really can be the case when parting ways with your SO. After a few days or weeks apart, you might find yourselves returning to the relationship with fresh big, heart-shaped eyes.
If you're all mixed up in drama, it can be difficult to reflect on the relationship's greater issues. Breaking up helps create distance, as well as some free time to mull things over. Hopefully the space will help you know just what to do. A healthy relationship consists of two people who know how to live their own lives. If you and your partner don't know how to do that, taking a break can help.
Having time apart means figuring yourself out so you can return to the relationship as whole non-codependent people. There's no better time than right after a breakup to work on your own issues. And the same thing will be true for your ex.Whether good, bad, or ugly, the end of a significant relationship is always difficult to come to terms with. In the moment, it ' s easy to get stuck in a cycle of pity and hopelessness, but breakups can actually be a very positive thing.
I know, I know. The last thing anyone wants to hear while they ' re trying to pull themselves out of a breakup slump is any variation of " everything happens for a reason.
So ditch that tissue box and scroll below for seven reasons why breakups are actually good for you. No matter how perfect you assumed your relationship was, a breakup is always a good reality check. Stepping away from the relationship allows you to see the full picture, and to pick out the not-so-great details about your ex. Whether it ' s stronger texting skills, improved listening skills, or just someone who ' s overall betteryou ' ll walk away with an enhanced understanding of what you ' re looking for in the future.
Half the fun of being in a relationship is having someone to rely on for life ' s everyday inconveniences. While having someone to support you is nice, it ' s also important to learn how to stand on your own. Breakups are a lot like being thrown into the deep-end when it comes to learning independence, but you ' ll emerge much more capable of handling your own problems.
As an added bonus, that new level of independence will only make your future relationships stronger! Breakups are often messy, and the days following the split are usually characterized by many tears and a desperate desire to talk about your situation to anyone who will listen. The sad truth is, most people just aren ' t going to care. But thankfully, the period of time that you ' re a blubbering mess is also the time that you realize who is truly there for you.
Your true friends will sit with you while you cry, make sure you have plenty of ice cream in your system and monitor your interactions to make sure you don ' t do something you regret.
You may have lost someone important to you, but it brings into focus all the other people who truly have your back. In addition to realizing who your true friends are, a breakup also means that you get to spend more time with those people. No matter how much you try to split your time evenly, being in a relationship chips away at your social calendar.
But following a breakup, you no longer have to commit a chunk of your time to another person, leaving you free to strengthen your important relationships with your friends. At the end of the day, friends are the people who will support you no matter what, and more time to spend with them is never a bad thing. An important part of any breakup cycle is the moment you realize that the person who let you go is just a total idiot. I mean really, that ' s the only explanation for letting such a fantastic, kind and caring person slip away.
While your ego may take a hit to begin with, breakups help you reflect on all the positive qualities you have to offer. Just because one person didn ' t realize your worth doesn ' t mean that someone else won ' t. A necessary element of being in a relationship is committing half of your time and energy to another person.
During a breakup, however, the resources that you ' ve been giving away can now be used to focus on yourself. When you have a good grasp on who you are, you will be much more equipped to build strong relationships in the future. While there ' s a lot to be said for becoming comfortable and relaxed with another person, the excitement and exhilaration that marks the start of a new romance is hard to beat.Two words, three vowels, four consonants, seven letters.
These can cut you open to the core and leave you in ungodly pain or it can free your soul and lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders.
Until that person breaks-up with you, or you are forced to break-up by circumstance; you hurt for a while then you realize it was for the best you broke-up, you had to be forced to leave that person because you were in too deep to leave that person on your own. Breaking-up gives you time to focus on you, to heal, to build you, to learn to be a whole you on your own and not depend on others for your happiness or fulfillment. It makes you analyze life, and learn yourself.
We all need some time for self-realization and exploration. Breaking-up mends your relationship with God When you have loved someone who had taken you far from God, separating with that person gives you the hunger and desire to come back to God. Breaking-up gives you a chance to change yourself When you are the one who did wrong and your wrong was the reason for the break-up, the painful break-up makes you remorseful, it gives you a chance to see your fault and work on them.
A break- up saves you from a wrong marriage Sometimes you can be dating a good person but not the right person for your future. Sometimes you two could have been dating for the wrong reasons or dating just for the sake. A good person who treats you well but not compatible for a lasting marriage.
The person you marry should not just be good for you, but right for you. A break-up can lead to a make-up When you love the right person, it is possible something can go wrong leading to a break-up.
During that break-up, you two can come to realize just how much you need, care and love each other. This realization will lead you two back together and make you two love each other even deeper because you were scared by the fear of losing each other forever. Breaking-up frees you for true love Leaving the wrong relationship will make you available for the right relationship.
The right lover will not pursue you if you are still taken. Breaking-up teaches you When you break-up with someone because they slept with another, they were cold to you, they disrespected you; it will teach you how all these hurt and when you get your next lover, you will not subject them to the same hurt your ex subjected you to.
You will not want your next lover to go through the pain your ex made you go through.
15 Reasons Why Your Breakup May Be The Best Thing That Ever Happened To You
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